At the first appointment, the nurse gathered me and the other patients to watch a mandatory video that emphasized the gravity of our decision and cited misrepresented facts about the percentage of us who would go on to regret this.Īfterwards, I needed to take a urine test, blood test, and undergo a transvaginal ultrasound before continuing on further. Instead, the government made more emotional what I was trying to endure as clinical. I understand the roadblocks currently in place to get a safe abortion to be traumatic and unnecessary, and I am arguing in this piece that sharing our stories publicly can not only demonstrate how impossible it is to escape emotionally unscathed, but also help others who may be painfully processing their experiences in isolation. The ability to connect with a community who understands the messy, contradictory nature of these feelings would have changed my mental health for the better. Getting pregnant in high school or college was a non-option, never mind the choice to get an abortion.Īt the time, my only strategy moving forward was a steely compartmentalization, though it was (and remains) unsustainable. Growing up, I was raised with a chilling fear of this day.
Yet I still felt shame, which fueled my effort to keep quiet.
